Friday, June 22, 2012

I'm NOT A Hipster; I Swear On My Vinyl Records Because MP3s are Too Mainstream


before I get to my promised post, I wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who is reading my blog. It means the world to me, truly!

Tonight, I would like to explain, on behalf of moderate hipsters everywhere--like myself--what we are trying to say when we--mostly they--make seemingly stupid comments. To clarify, I am not a hipster when it comes to clothes, speech, or who I associate with, but I do share similar ideals when it comes to music. Remember: not a hipster, just agrees with them on music from time to time. :)

For example, I find myself saying this a lot: "Mainstream music sucks."
You're probably thinking "Put a sock in it. This is my jam!" Fine, it can be your "jam," but number one, I don't think anyone has said that since like 1990 and number two, your "jam" maker has no talent. By saying that mainstream music sucks, what I'm saying is that artist has no talent, really, like I just said. If their voice is pumped full of auto-tune, does that mean they are a good singer? Nope. Mainstream music, any more, is dominated by idiotic rappers and "singers" who get high on the love they have for themselves. That's why mainstream music sucks.

Next, I will say "This band should be famous, not that one." That, readers, is jealousy. I am so jealous that bands like Maroon 5--who are a shabby excuse for a band--and The Wanted--can you believe that people consider them a band?--are making millions of dollars each year, selling tickets at ridiculously inflated prices, and have sold so many songs on iTunes, while more talented, "real" bands are making a little money here and there, but if you asked a random person on the street who MuteMath was, they'd probably just stare at you. Ask them who Bieber is, though, and they'd be able to tell you. It's just wrong. Many people--hipsters, maybe--listen to other bands with more talent who deserve the appearances and sponsorships. It's just kind of sad, for us, I suppose. That one is explained by jealousy and sadness.

Then, we say "I liked this song before it was popular." yes, I know everyone has heard someone say this before and you're probably annoyed by it. Let me explain it with a fantastic simile, let's pretend that you love searching for treasure--bear with me here--and you find a huge one, with trillions of dollars in it and you're just super rich and happy and everything. But then, the word gets out about your treasure and pretty soon everyone wants a piece of that treasure and they go back to where you found it and start taking all your money and pretty soon, you only have like, five hundred thousand. You're probably pretty sad at this point. Okay, get it? No? I'll explain. the treasure is the music, the people stealing the treasure are the dopes who are too lazy to find the music on their own and bum off your discovery and then claim it for themselves. Understand now? here's another way to look at it: I'll give you an example from my own life. "We Are Young" by Fun. is an incredible song and I discovered it because I have been a huge Fun. fan for the last year or so and I downloaded it back in September or so and loved it. I showed it to a friend of mine who loved it just as much, though for different reasons--I was drawn to the drum patterns and Nate's vocal range while she liked how sing-along-ready it was--and then a couple of months went by and BOOM! That song was huge. I had to transition from learning the lyrics on my own--most lyric websites do not post new lyrics very quickly, especially from alt/indie bands--to reading every 12 year old with a YOLO agenda posting the lyrics every hour. I get it, kids, it's really exciting to be 12 when you can't drive, drink, or smoke. How I envy you. Not. Anyways, that's why I like songs before they reach massive success.

Finally, I sometimes will say "I liked this band before they got big." You're probably shaking your head, thinking, "didn't you just say you wanted some of your alt bands to blow up?" Not really. I want my bands to have the type of success that Linkin Park or bands similar to them have had, success where they do not change their sound. Mainstream success often leads to some fancy producer or manager or greed taking over and trying to change the band. they land on the cover of magazines, start relying on a computer to do all the musical heavy lifting for them, and/or change their style completely. That only hurts their fans, the people who followed them when they had 50 Likes on Facebook, the people who went to their concerts, and bought their tee-shirts. But, when it comes to money and fame, they tend to forget that. And that is terribly unfortunate. I wish bands would stick up for themselves more often and stick with what works. Sadly, these producers/managers/greed will want them to change their stuff so that it is more appealing to 12 year old girls and 21-year-old party freaks. That's stupidity, in its finest form.

Next week, I will post about different bands/singers/people I've found on YouTube, all music related, though. :)

Until next week,


  1. Did a quick surf on your blog. I was actually expecting a review on the movie I Am Not A Hipster. But wasn't completely disappointed after reading your rants. Anyhoo, think you might enjoy this movie and its soundtrack most of all.