I’ve mentioned before that I had a questionable taste in
music when I was younger. I wasn’t being facetious. I listened to some really
crappy music. So, the other day, I was thinking about the old stuff that I used
to think was amazing and how it is the exact same stuff I’m rallying against
now. Then, I thought, why not highlight exactly how terrible my choice in music
was. This blog is for music: the good, the bad, and the over-processed.
Therefore, tonight, I present my Junior High Playlist.
Brace yourselves, y’all.
“Midnight Romeo” by Push Play- This song makes me laugh
simply because it was the first song that introduced me to sexual innuendo of
any kind, like “You’ll be the lock/I’ll be the key” or “Tonight your dinner’s free/what’s in it
for me.” I didn’t pick up on that stuff
at first but then later, I was like, “Whoa, did he just say that?” I suppose,
if nothing else this song motivated me to make sure I’m going Dutch on dinner
dates. Lyrics aside, I’ll give myself credit; this song does actually feature
real instruments, including an obnoxious triangle. And it’s catchy enough that
I see why I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Yet, that doesn’t excuse the
shallow lyrics and lack of musicianship. Silly Bella.
“Thinking Of You” by Katy Perry – The worst song on this
list. She’s try so hard on this song…oh my goodness. She sounds like she’s
trying to be Dido, Ke$ha, and Jack Johnson all at the same time and it fails…massively.
The whole song is about some sick love triangle between the dude she’s dating
and how she’s thinking about another guy. Original. I mean, if the song was
well-written or at least featured some elevated diction, I could respect her
feelings and the song, but it just sounds so “Taylor Swift in a coffee house”
that it falls flat. Not to mention, Katy is straining her voice which gives the
song a weird feeling, though I suppose I’d take that over the massive
auto-tuning she requires now because all her songs are written in the upper
registers where her voice cannot reach. Oh, music industry…
“Ain’t No Other Man” by Christina Aguilera - I used to love
her stuff back in junior high as it was about the time I started running
hardcore and her music was pretty motivating. She has a good voice, I’ll admit
that much. Essentially, though, this song is just about how some dude is like
the best thing she’s ever had, making her point with poor grammar and clichés
(He’s “bad,” guys! Sexy!) Not the worst on the list, but bad enough. J
“I Can’t Do it Alone”
by 3OH!3- 3OH!3 used to be very popular when I was in junior high, with “Don’t
Trust Me” (Who could forget that Helen Keller line?) and “Starstrukk.” Now,
they’re not really that popular and it’s understandable considering their
newest stuff sounds like Skrillex and Adam Levine’s ugly lovechild.
(Translation: their new stuff stinks). However, this older song is kind of
techno meets pop, but it works. They’re not really trying to be anything other
than loud and truthful, I suppose, but the beats are sick and the lyrics are strikingly
beautiful , all things considered.
“I Write Sins Not Tragedies” By Panic! At the Disco- Yes! Good
job, younger me. I remember the first time I heard this song when I was in
early 8th grade. I was listening to the radio and they were doing a “Blast
From the Past” thing and this came on! I had never heard this song but I couldn’t
get Brendon’s memorable voice out of my head nor the very unusual violin
section’s rhythmic plucking. I was hooked. Still, to do this day, I love this
song. It’s not my favorite out of all their music, but it’s in the top 10 for
sure. Between the complementary guitar lines, Spencer’s steady drums, and
Brendon’s ridiculously glorious vocals, it’s still gives me goosebumps when I
listen to it. J
Until next Friday,
Bella 
